stana; b/w statue flo

for anyone who wants to know

for the record, not that it's anyone's business who was not involved, but because there are a lot of lies out there - when i was 19 and very stupid, mentally ill, anorexic, selfish, and self-medicating (none of this is an excuse, just context,) i was part of an community on LJ. it was mostly anon, but i had friends on there, and people knew me. i was living with my mother and stepfather at the time and had recently disclosed, while i was hospitalized for my ED, that my stepfather had sexually abused me until i was 13. (he did.) my mother did not believe me and so i had to leave the house. i posted about my situation on this community and my friends offered me money via paypal which i accepted. i want to make it clear that i NEVER lied about any of my abuse, or my home situation, despite what it might say on that racist and misogynistic ED page.

i was lucky and fortunate enough to be taken in by the family of a friend of mine, who i knew from online, and whose parents i knew from group therapy. they were lovely, amazing people and i did take terrible advantage of them and stole from them. after i left their house i did spend two months in a women's homeless shelter, (for those who believe i was never homeless) until i recanted the abuse just so that my mother would let me come home.

because the friends of mine who had given me money found out about the stealing they were rightfully upset and wanted the money back. i have since paid back every dime i ever took, both from my friends online and the family who took me in.

stealing is wrong, and i know that, and i am sorry and regretful for what i did. in the past few years i have been working to better my mental health, and better myself as a person in general. i am sorry to anyone i took money from or who felt taken advantage of by me. you will never see me asking for a penny or pity from anyone ever again. my problems are my own, and no one else's. i am just trying to move on with my life. that's all that i want.

i understand if people here or on tumblr/ontd want to cut ties with me. i guess i just figured why not be honest and put all of the truth out there. i'm sorry.